101 Deaths of Minerva Paradizo
by alpha aquarii
Summary: Mary Sues, tell me who hasn't had these very same fantasies? Diverse pairings, diverse settings and diverse obituaries. A collection of oneshots. Everyone has their guilty pleasures...
1. Assassination

Disclaimer: If I owned Artemis Fowl...hmm...(thinks evil thoughts)

Hello everybody! I haven't been around to do anything in the Artemis Fowl fandom for a long, long time. But I recently got my hands on a copy of The Last Colony despite myself and found myself re-addicted. It's like a drug! So this is where this crazy inspiration comes from. Needless to say, spoilers for TLC.

Also, another note: I am sorry to whoever (whomever?) I offend with these oneshots and alternate endings. Go ahead and flame me, this is my wretched and sick way of having fun. This is just a statement of my opinion and a writing exercise for me. I do not _hate_ Minerva, but I do like the idea of Artemis being the _only_ child genius around, hence this…I really am sorry, but if you support ArtemisMinerva, you should probably stop reading…right about…here.

A/N: (Sorry, this is the last note!) This one takes place after Artemis and co. head to Hybras, but before they come back. Also, as of right now I've only read TLC once (usually I reread stuff a million times before I write about it) so I apologize if I get stuff wrong about the details.

**Number 1**

Minerva Paradizo sighed. It was just past the one year mark of Artemis disappearing off to Hybras. She tapped her fingers in a rhythmic beat on the wood desk in front of her; she was in her father's rebuilt mansion, one of the more secluded, unused rooms for that. For any normal insanely-rich cosmetic surgeon, it would have taken years to rebuild the structure, but Gaspard Paradizo knew the best, which made the time significantly shorter. Minerva would not have it any other way; she still retained her stubborn, reckless attitude from her youth.

Her youth. She smiled bitterly. Only thirteen and what was she calling her past? Minerva was hardly finished with childhood herself. _Look at you,_ she thought, _look at how you've changed since…since…_

She missed Artemis.

It was more than funny; it was utterly ironic how deluded she had been before. Believing that he was trying to steal 'her' acclaimed prize, that he was her enemy. After all he had done and she'd repaid him by causing him and the others to travel to another dimension filled with bloodlusting demons. It was suicide, no, it was homicide. Indirectly so, but it was still her fault.

_No_. She tightened her grip on the armrests of the desk chair she sat in. Artemis wasn't dead, nor the others. How could she believe that? He was a genius, like her. He would find some way out, some brilliant way to save the world above and belowground. After all, it wasn't as if it was the first time. She had to have faith.

Despite this, she groaned aloud. Even Butler couldn't convince her that she was not to blame. It was her stupid attitude that had not allowed her to leave Kong alone until he was unconscious. She _had_ to go provoke him with her wordy insults. And looking back; _why_? It wasn't as if her words would change him whatsoever, and she knew this. But she had to get the last laugh. She _always_ had to get the last laugh. And look where it got her this time.

Minerva pulled open a desk drawer. The desk was a sturdy antique but had lain unused for the longest period of time with nothing to put in it. She had all but abandoned her other-worldly studies now, she didn't want to risk causing any more trauma. And she didn't want to remember what she had caused earlier. She should have been able to forgive herself as easily as when she had nearly exposed to humans an endangered species, but this was different. _This_ was harder for some reason.

The drawer jerked at its end, having been pulled open so quickly. A thick cloud of dust made her eyes water and she looked at the drawer. It was as empty as it had been for every single day since the mansion was in livable conditions again. Nothing had changed. She traced a name into the fine layer of dust accumulating on the wood surface.

_Artemis Fowl_

When was he coming back?

A knock at the door disrupted her. She closed the desk drawer and spun around in her chair to face the door of the room. "Come in."

It was Beau. He had a hopeful look on his face as he said, "Chocolate?"

Minerva sighed. How blissfully ignorant her brother was of the past two years' events! She almost envied him, he hadn't changed at all.

"No, not now Beau. No chocolate."

Beau's eyes began to water and he put on a pouty face.

"No, Beau. I'm sorry."

Seeing as the puppy-eyes look wasn't going to do much for him, Minerva's little brother straightened his face out to look defiant. "I want chocolate!"

"You just had chocolate an hour ago."

"But I took a nap! I want more chocolate."

"Beau, dinner is in an hour," Minerva said patiently. "You don't want to ruin your appetite with chocolate."

Beau stamped his foot on the wood floor. "Chocolate!"

"No." She said firmly, beginning to get annoyed.

"Give me chocolate!"

"No, you little brat, now scram!" She pointed at the door tersely.

Beau took it as his prerogative to stomp his way out of the room, making agitated noises and slamming the door behind him. Minerva sighed yet again and sank into her chair, rubbing her temples.

Not even five minutes later, there was another knock at the door. This one was more cautious and quiet, as if whoever was behind it was merely testing to see if someone was there. Minerva overlooked this as she shouted from the room, "No chocolate, Beau!"

Suddenly, the door swung wide open and all the color drained from Minerva's face.

She was staring down at a gun pointed at her heart, a highly technical, dangerous one no doubt. She could look past the gun but what she saw around it was not more reassuring. A score of black-clad figures with cliché-styled bowler hats pulled over their head and faces (save for eye slits) crowded around a leader. Assassins. But who were they? And how did they get past the security?

The one holding the gun moved forward so the gun was not even six inches from her chest. He literally seemed to growl. The others all had guns too and strangely enough, _they_ were all pointed at her as well. What a perfect situation.

Minerva swallowed, keeping her composure. She made sure her face was blank and did not betray fright. "What do you want?" Her voice rang out loud and clear over the otherwise silent room.

It had been the wrong thing to say. The gun holder threatened her without a trace of morals, in a way that was a bit too familiar. "Shut up, little girl!"

She swallowed again, trying to think, but her mind was pitifully blank. What would Artemis do…? She couldn't formulate a plan, not with all this life-or-death stress on her.

She decided to risk one more question seeing as there was no immediate way to get out of the situation. "What are you here for?"

"To kill you, what does it look like?" the man spoke back in harsh tones. "And you _will_ die, this time."

Credit to Minerva, she tried to talk her way out, Artemis style. "If it is money you want, I have quite a large sum of it. You need not threaten lives."

The man snorted, anger beginning to make his aim loosen. Something that never would have happened otherwise, but this was too important. He was literally on the brink of redemption. Despite himself, he let himself go on a little tirade. It was the least he could do. "Money? Money! You think it's _money_ that I wish to gain from this! No amount of money could compare to what I have in store! You…you have ruined my best and only chances for my avengement, little girl…and you shall _pay_!"

And he finally pulled the trigger.

-

The shot was given from abnormally shaky hands, but only veered an inch or two off target. The air seemed to explode on contact with the bullet. It blasted Minerva straight off her desk chair and her fragile body did a mini-arc in the air before it hit the ground.

The rich smell of blood filled her nostrils. _It's over for me_, she thought. _Artemis…_

She barely felt the pain and her vision was fading already. She tried to cling onto logical matter, but it was too late, she was already slipping…So nearly impossible she should die like this, but yet it had happened. And she hadn't been able to stop it. Her heartbeat seemed to fill her head, pulsing in her chest, pushing her very lifeblood out of her earthly body.

Maniacal laughter filled her damaged eardrums for just a second, then she was aware of the bodies fleeting past her. At her very last heartbeat and breath, she was aware of something. Her vision was yellowing, shapes were stretching in and out of proportion, but as the last figure ran by her…It was the man who had pulled the trigger and led to her unlikely demise, and just as she began to close her eyes forever, she swore she saw gelled, spiked hair…

-

Outside of the Paradizo mansion, Jonah Lee heard sirens approaching. His backup workmen had by now all fled, not like he cared. His life was over one way or another, but so was the brat's now. She was the only one who he had access to, the only one who had stopped him from his demons…the only one to feel his rage.

Jonah grinned as the police cars approached, staying in his spot, the gun still held in his hand, though he required no more shots or use from it. He spit on the ground, still grinning.

_That was for you, Eric._

A/N: I'm sorry, that was a lame start. But I had to get this out even if it didn't make sense and left a lot of loose ends.


	2. Suicide

Disclaimer: Don't own Artemis Fowl or any supporting characters from the book or whatnot. It alllllllll belongs to Eoin (sigh).

I'm back. What joy. Just to tell you, I won't always be updating so frequently, it's just today I don't have school and well, I found myself bored.

Okays, and I'm feeling mean. Which is where this oneshot is comin' from. **E**ssential **I**nformation **Y**ou **N**eed **T**o **K**now: This story takes place in the future. Everything else will be explained throughout the story. Or I hope it will be, I suck at trying to imply things.

**Number Two**

A twenty-two year old Minerva tossed in her bed at night, writhing from an unknown enemy, one she couldn't escape. Her eyeballs jittered beneath their lids in REM sleep.

She was beautiful. Blonde curls, cut to shoulder length, fanned out and hugged the pillow. Her face was sculpted with prettier features than any modern statue of Roman goddesses you cared to name, and her body could entice the most stubborn of men with its lush curves, mountains and valleys. Yet all the beauty in the world wouldn't be enough to compensate for her feelings.

She had seen it. Men on the streets would whistle at her, the more subtle ones would wink, but they would all stare, taking her in. She was interested in none of them. Handsome they may be, you only get one chance at true love and she knew hers was gone.

His face plagued her dreams at night and appeared in her mind's eye all day long. Wishing, wondering if it was real.

Moonlight trickled through the half-open window blinds, casting an eerie glow to the room and the young woman in her bed. Even Minerva Paradizo is subject to sleeping and the unwanted nightmares.

Hours pass, until her vision climaxes and she awakes with a start. Sweaty, erotic limbs curled together into fetal position, as if to protect the jewel. Minerva breathes out loud, sighing, letting the air and fear out of her lungs.

She places a hand over her heart, feeling it beat wildly. A couple of calming breaths and meditative exercises to regain her outer composure. It wasn't enough for her inner self to succumb, though.

Gingerly, she steps out of bed. It is 4:30 a.m., but she knows from experience she will not be able to go back to sleep. The memory of the details from the dream itself is slipping from her grasp already, but she knows what the main idea was. It never changes.

Artemis.

She pulls her nightgown over her head. It is white, pure angelic white. But not for her. All of Minerva's angels had disappeared.

She had lost her chance years ago. _In fact, exactly _ten_ years ago_, the young genius mused as she pulls a professional white blouse from her closet. Every single day. Conservatory dress. She had no heart for anything else.

_Why?_ She thinks, twirling around in a simple dark blue skirt in front of her floor-length mirror. The material is soft and lifts as she spins and seems to catch up and wind around her legs when she stops. She opts for a crimson red skirt instead of the blue, made of the same material. It falls between her knee and ankle, lapping softly at the pale skin. She admires herself hollowly. Once upon a time, maybe she would have cared more about her looks.

She is gorgeous. But gorgeous wasn't enough for him…

Her mind finally circles back to her clichéd, everyday thoughts, and Minerva sits back down on her unmade queen-sized bed, facing the mirror. Her reflection stares back, _why? Why? Why?_

Against all odds, she had thought she would be the one to crack Artemis's seemingly cold shell. He had rescued her, and he knew the almost unlimited boundaries of her young mind. So like his own…

Was that necessarily a turn-off? _No_, and she knew it. So why? It wasn't like she hadn't thought about it before; almost every day in fact. Every day her mind thought and thought again about the boy genius.

Of course, he wasn't a boy any longer. He was a man, and still his mind held no impossibilities of the world. She would have been perfect for him…

…so why did he choose the elf over her?

In all honesty, she couldn't be mad at the fairy…Holly, wasn't it? But Minerva had been so sure that she would have been the one for him. Jealousy throttled her at the time, but never anger at either one. Young as she was, she recognized true love between the two, but was confused at the same time. Something that rarely happened to her.

_What does she have that I don't?_ Minerva tried her best to not sound like a teenage cliché, but the question wouldn't leave her alone.

Maybe that was it. Maybe she was never to know.

They lost contact, miraculously. Minerva shook at little at the thought, clamping her hands at the soft fabric of the sheets on either side of her. Even she hadn't envisioned that. She had…almost _dreams_. She imagined working alongside him, solving and saving the world occasionally.

She nearly shook her head in disgust now. Childish fantasies; of course, nothing like that would ever have happened. But she longed to be around him, after these long years of only his memories to keep her company. Never a warm hand to hold, or someone else to relate to.

If she really tried, she could track him back down and reacquaint with him. But did she really want to? Somehow; she knew he hadn't changed and she didn't think even _she_ could bear it to see him and Holly, living in love happily ever after. And she would not be the one to break it either. She couldn't do that.

Even her family had escaped her slippery grip following the time when she lost Artemis. Beau now attended high school two cities away and she rarely saw him. It was like he didn't care either. Her father, insisting he was still well enough to take care of himself, lived solitarily (save for the sparse bodyguard and maid) in a mansion. She visited him regularly but it wasn't the same. No more promises of ponies and Justin Timberlake playing at birthday parties.

She had never seen the appeal of living without company in a huge mansion. Minerva kept herself to her work all day and snuck away to her apartment only at night. She would have wanted only the best in her teenage years but they had passed her by, leaving her changed. That was not to say her living conditions here were shabby or anything near it.

She spared a look at the clock. Her reminiscing had lasted almost half an hour. She headed to her bathroom, picked up her hairbrush, and glared at it. _What was the point?_

-

A tired and flustered Minerva walked the two blocks to her apartment at seven o clock at night, skirting past the eloquent lobby to the elevator up to the fourth floor. Opening her door to the same old hallway she had seen for the past three years gave her no extra thrill.

_What am I living for these days?_ Someone had to ask it. Her business was flourishing, if only her social life could catch up now. Artemis was right; having such a superior intellect really drained you of the simple pleasures when you knew there was so much more. She was accumulating all this wealth for what?

It was worthless to her. All material things were worthless these days. They couldn't buy her happiness, nor the past back. **She was wasting her life.**

She was young; with so many possibilities in front of her, but she knew none would make her happy. She was _lonely_, and nothing could make up for that. Nothing would deny it either.

She set her bags down on the floor, shucking off her coat and high heels. Nothing was black or white anymore; everything always had a layer of grey hidden in.

And that was why Minerva sauntered over to her wall safe in her bedroom and opened it to reveal her secret arsenal of treasures. One in particular she picked out.

A silver handgun. Lethal and quick, loaded with just one silver bullet. She stared at it for the longest time. A gift from Artemis. Not many young men would give their friends a gun, but Artemis was in the minority. So was she.

It was so ironic.

She hefted the gun between her hands, thinking. Minerva Paladizo did not do things on impulse.

What was left of her? She had mounds of potential building up inside of her, and none of it was being used the right way. She was wasting her genius and had no idea what to apply it to anymore. She couldn't turn down the criminal road; that just wasn't her.

_So who am I?_

It was a bit late to find out. Minerva took the gun and pressed it against her temple. The gun was still cold from the safe. Cold and metallic. And could-be fatal.

She looked at her mirror. For all she saw was a young woman holding a gun to her head. A waste of beauty. A waste of brain.

A sad, sorry tear trickled down her cheek. She wasn't going to write a note.

_Don't think of it as suicide_, her mind tried desperately to console her, _think of it as just a passage to a new life, a better one where you'll have more chances…_It was a pathetic lie and she knew it.

Minerva closed her eyes, not even bothering to take a last look at her home. Just more material worth.

She pulled the trigger, heard a bang, and then all was lost.

-

Artemis was asleep, for he was in a different time zone. Holly lay next to him, breathing deeply. The bed sank just a little under their combined weight.

His features had grown older, sharper, but a few of his worry lines had disappeared since his younger days. Holly looked the same as ever, but they both looked peaceful in sleep.

Looks are deceiving. Artemis was having a nightmare.

He was floating in the air; he was fourteen again. He appeared to be four stories off the ground, with nothing supporting him. How strange.

He happened to glance through a window.

A young woman, about twenty years old, seemed to be falling in slow motion. Her eyes were closed, but her lips held the ghost of a smile. She looked so sorrowful, as if her will to live had disappeared with her dignity and happiness.

Blood.

He saw the gun in her right hand and would have gasped if he could draw breath. There was something eerily familiar about it and the woman…

She had a head full of rich blonde curls, cut to her shoulders. Her features were pretty and sharp, and she wore a blouse and skirt. The color of her skirt matched the blood that was flowing from a hole in her head.

She hit the ground of the room. Unforgiving hard wood floor. Her body bounced a little with inertia, the motion exaggerated as if with cinema effects, then lay still.

Artemis felt her last breath pushing through him. It was a curious feeling that seemed to grasp his heart and not let go. He frowned at the woman.

_Do I know you?_

He woke up. Holly was next to him as usual, stirring by now. It was dawn.

The elf smiled, running a finger down his jawline, whereas he was fighting off the last tingles of weariness. "How did you sleep, Artemis?"

Artemis smiled. His thoughts could wait. His lover, along with a brand new day, had come.

"Beautifully."

**End**

I used to not like ArtemisHolly, but ever since Minerva came along it's been slightly more bearable to me. Ah well. Review please!


	3. Alternate Ending

Disclaimer: Still don't own (sobbing is heard in the background). Artemis!

OK, I was wondering what would have happened if Butler _hadn't_ saved Minerva, and if Kong's men had decided to burst in just a second earlier, so uh, that's where this came from. This one is fairly short actually. I UPDATED TWICE TODAY! YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY! Even though this one's cruddy.

Has anyone seen the movie Snakes On A Plane? Well, you know that Eddie guy who's the criminal, I always imagined Billy Kong to be somewhat like that only with spiky, colored hair. Am I weird or am I weird?

**EIYNTK: **Um, this happens, well, I put a little bit of the chapter in to give you an idea of when and where it's happening.

**Number Three**

_Minerva decided to take advantage of Billy Kong's unconsciousness to indulge in some payback. She stalked over to her prone kidnapper. _

"_You, Mister Kong, are nothing but a thug," she said, kicking him in the leg._

"_Young lady," said Butler sharply, "move away. He may not be completely out."_

"_If my father has as much as a hair out of place," continued Minerva, oblivious to Butler's warnings, "I will personally ensure that you spend the maximum time in prison."_

_Kong cracked open a weeping eye. "That's no way to talk to your staff," he croaked, and wrapped steely fingers round her ankle._

_Minerva realized that she had made a drastic mistake and decided that the best course of action was to scream as shrilly as possible. Which she did. _

-

Her scream pierced the air, high and unnerving. Butler looked away from the door for just one second, about to pry Kong off her, and felt weight against the door. Not one man…it felt like all four of Kong's team were all trying to shoulder the door open.

He wouldn't allow it. Butler grunted and dug his feet into the floor, pressing all of his weight against the door. A practical trick, if not very effective. He felt a bead of sweat trickling down his neck and pushed harder.

Four men were too much. The door didn't quite _burst_ open, but was forced slowly, accompanied by a soundtrack of groans and grunts. Eventually it was thrown open off its hinges, despite Butler's best attempts.

Billy Kong did not let go of Minerva, instead her scream seemed to awaken some lost, barbaric part of him and he split his face into a scowl. Growling, in one swift movement he flipped Minerva over using her ankle, throwing her high into the air. With that, he finally passed out.

_She_ continued screaming. Even a genius would have _some_ trouble coming up with a plan when you are flying in the air and about to fall.

Unlucky her. Minerva's frail body arced, then landed directly in the path of one Billy's henchmen's swords. It had been initially aimed at Butler, but Minerva found herself falling right into its range.

Had the knife been beginning to or even in mid-strike, Butler should have been able to pull the girl out of the way. As it was, he was already in position to block the strike, which was less than a millisecond away from landing where it will. There was nothing he could have done.

Minerva was thrust right in the middle of the two, and the sword slashed her chest right open. The cut was deep, fatal. It sliced her from her collarbone down to her stomach, impaling her heart on gleaming silver. Butler realized once he caught up to what was happening (which did not take long) that she had had no chance.

The henchman simply grunted and shoved the girl to the side. To him, Minerva was just an interruption, and it was back to the action for him. For Butler and the others, it was slightly more significant.

Her crumpled body had already stopped breathing. _She was lucky_, elders would say in the future at her funeral, _she barely had time to feel the pain._ Blood poured out of her body even without a beating heart to pump it out. Luscious blonde curls were drenched in red, smelling sickly sweet like a deranged line of perfumes.

Naturally, Artemis had not missed this. His eyes widened and he ran over to her, dragging Holly (now awoken – let's say in this oneshot she didn't pass out from the grenade and immediately healed herself) with him.

"Can you heal her?" his voice was tinged with panic.

Holly laid down beside the fallen girl, examining her. It didn't take long for her to say, "I'm sorry, Artemis. There never was a chance. Sliced her right open." Tears were beginning to threaten Holly, taunting in the corner of her eyes.

Artemis didn't say anything, merely closed his eyes for a beat, then reopened them, shining with more steel in them than ever before. _Why, why did it have to be her, and now?_

"Time enough to grieve later," he said, though his own voice told otherwise. "we have a job to finish."

Holly looked worriedly at the boy genius. He could have loved Minerva; and easy as that, she was gone. Who knew how this would affect his mental side? But the Irish boy was right for one thing, she thought as she got up, all the more resolve to finish their job.

The girl on the ground was left abandoned, though never forgotten. Her face pictured beauty and pain in the perfect balance. A chance meant for Artemis that would now never appear again.

**End**

That was lame, I apologize. I know Arty was OOC and I made this less serious than it should have been. Forgive me? Pwease?


	4. Catfight

Disclaimer: EOIN COLFER, YOU BASTARD! GIVE ME THEM! LOL just kidding, no offence Mr. Colfer. We love you Eoin!

Thanks for all the reviews, people! You have no idea how happy it makes me to read em, even if they all mostly say something like 'I'M SOOO GLAD YOU HATE MINERVA TOO! KEEP ON KILLING HER!' lol. I love you guys even so!

This oneshot is more lighthearted, wahahaha. I wanted to do something completely different from the three serious oneshots I have here already. The first part is normal enough, but then the insanity shines through…

**WARNING! WARNING! OOCNESS ALERT! OOCNESS ALERT!** Read on and be stunned by the stupidity and lack of creativity! Oh by the way this takes place some time after all the trauma at the end of the fifth book. Holly and Minerva and Artemis are good friends. Or at least that's how they start…

**THIS IS RATED T FOR A REASON! LANGUAGE! LANGUAGE!**

**Number Four**

Minerva Paradizo took a deep breath. She stood outside Fowl Manor in Ireland, her finger hovering over the ornate doorbell. This was ridiculous. She'd been standing outside here for the last five minutes. Five minutes, honestly. She could have finished hacking into several of the world's tightest bank accounts by now. If she had the desire, and was at home with her laptop. The criminal road was never for her.

_Oh, just press the button!_ She thought. Even so, she spent another half a minute staring down the metal – gold, no doubt – around the doorbell and the intricate designs carved into them. Social encounters were not what she excelled at; genii did not easily fit in with your normal cluster of pubescent teenagers.

She pressed the doorbell.

The resounding _ding-dong_ ran through the house and echoed back to Minerva's ears. Such a deep, lovely tone. Beautiful. Of course she was only thinking this to avoid thinking about what she would have to otherwise.

Her thoughts were literally whipped out of her mind as the front door opened and a small gust of wind greeted her, making her curls bounce softly on her shoulders.

It was Butler. Minerva actually let out a deep breath.

"_Bonjour_, Butler." She twittered, trying on one of her most charming smiles. It was good practice for when she saw Artemis.

The manservant looked pleasantly surprised. "Minerva! Haven't seen you in a while."

She smiled again. "Is Artemis here?" she tried to sound innocent, knowing it wouldn't fool Butler.

The man mountain winked at her, a smile twitching at his lips. "Finally gathered up the courage, have you?"

Credit to Minerva. She blushed such a deep red color even Beetroot (watching down from heaven, no doubt) would have been jealous. "Yes, Butler," she snapped, a trace of her younger self returning for a moment, "and it would be a shame to lose it now due to your childish provokes."

"My apologies, Miss Paradizo. I doubt you would let me get you down, even so. And to answer your first question, Artemis is not present as of the now. He is…" the bodyguard's expression changed for a moment, "…out."

"Do you know when he will be back?" Minerva prodded. She was a little disappointed after all the time she's waited.

"Within the hour. Why don't you come in and wait? Holly's here too, you ladies can chat while I read up on my guns." Butler invited.

"Gladly. Thank you for your hospitality," Minerva murmured, still a bit nervous. Butler held the door open for her and she entered the Manor quietly.

She saw Holly in the living room, the door was connected to one of its walls. The elf was sitting on the ampled-roomed couch, boredly surfing channels on the TV but brightened up when she saw Minerva taking a seat next to her.

"Hey, it's my favorite girl genius." she beamed.

"Hey, it's my favorite magical fairy," Minerva mocked Holly's informal greeting.

Butler slammed the door shut, turning to face the two females. "I plan to read up on Guns & Ammo two floors up in the security room. If you ladies need something, just wave at the camera," he pointed at an organic microcamera set in the wall 'borrowed' from Foaly a few years back.

"Thanks, Butler," Holly said, and the bodyguard proceeded up the stairs. She switched off the tube and grinned at Minerva. "So, what bring you up here on all days, Mud Girl?"

"I was going to visit Artemis," the French girl responded carefully, giving a generic response on purpose.

"So was I. Were you here to talk to him about anything specific?" Holly asked, staring at her nails. It was like she too chose her words with caution.

"Yes, I was."

"Wanna tell me?" Holly winked.

Minerva hesitated, but only for a moment.

"I was going to, erm, ask him out on a date." She said, quieting down on the word 'date'.

"Oh!" Holly said quietly. "Were you?" she asked, louder.

"Yes, I was. I mean, I am nearing sixteen years old and my genius has restricted me from communicating with any local boys effectively. Artemis _could be_ my chance." Minerva said softly.

Holly straightened up to look at Minerva in the eye. "Well, Minerva, I think you'll find out that there will be no need to ask Artemis out."

"Oh? And that is why?" Minerva challenged, raising both eyebrows.

"Because," Holly grinned, showing white teeth, "Artemis is going to be going out with me soon enough."

"And what do you mean by that?" Minerva asked harshly.

"You're not the only one here to ask the Irish boy out, Mud Child." Holly smirked nastily.

"Do not call me a child!" Minerva shouted. Her sudden outburst made Holly jump, but only a little. "And you dating him is impossible! In fact, it is utterly and completely _wrong_!"

"And how is that, _child_?" Holly growled, no longer smiling.

"You two are of different species, for heaven's sake! Not to mention you are the obvious couple centuries _older_ than him! He is an eighteen year old man, what are you, _four hundred_?" Minerva retorted.

"Love is ageless, remember?" Holly snarled, ignoring her other comments.

"And why would he date _you_ when there is _me_?" Minerva continued. "I am a girl genius. Artemis and I and perfect for each other. We understand each other with our genius. What have you got? Some battle smarts underground?"

Holly snorted. "Genius huh? Well, can you spell spoiled brat?"

That's when Minerva did something completely out of character for her. Well, too bad, all you reality-loving folks! This oneshot is the epitome of out of character!

Minerva tackled Holly bodily, throwing them both off the couch. They landed on the carpeted ground. Holly felt something in her back crack before blue sparks fixed it up. Minerva lay on top of her, defending herself.

"Spoiled brat? SPOILED BRAT? SO WHAT DOES THAT MAKE YOU, HOLLY SHORT? AN IMPULSIVE, NO-GOOD HUMAN HATER WHO CAN'T FIGURE OUT TWO PLUS TWO FOR HER _LIFE_?" Minerva shrieked.

"WELL AT LEAST I'M NOT SOME OBNOXIOUS RICH GENIUS WHO CAN'T SURVIVE PHYSICALLY IF HER LIFE DEPENDED ON IT! WHICH IT WILL SOME DAY!" Holly screamed right back.

"DON'T TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! AT LEAST I HAVE SOME BRAINS!"

"YOU ARE SO LAME!"

Since we're doing out of character, let's take a look at Butler…

Open on a small room with camera screens all around, with different live videos all around Fowl Manor on the walls. Butler is asleep and drooling on the one desk's spinny chair. His spit is dribbling onto a half-opened July copy of Guns & Ammo.

As Holly and Minerva scream at each other two floors down, Butler turns in his sleep, yawning, and scratches his back clumsily. He keeps on snoring, mouth wide open, out like a light as they throw insults. Close and back to scene one.

To the ladies…still on top of each other…literally.

"DID YOU RUN OUT OF PETTY INSULTS, SHORT?" Minerva yelled, spittle flying from her delicate lips onto Holly's face.

Holly had had enough. With a savage grunt, she pulled one arm out of Minerva's grasp and clawed the girl genius across her face using her fingernails. Blood immediately starts to spurt from the cuts – three tiger slashes across pale cheeks and nose – and Holly rolls them over so now she is on top and the blood won't drip onto her.

Minerva gasps like a preppy slut, you know, the ones with a million boyfriends, rule the school, and cheerlead. Blood immediately begins to comply with gravity, thick crimson drops rolling down her face and onto the cream-colored carpet. Needless to say, it was not all cream-colored anymore.

"YOU ANIMAL!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME, FREAK?" Holly yells. "WHO, I ASK, _WHO_ SKINS ANIMALS FOR THEIR FUR JUST TO KEEP A LITTLE WARM IN THE WINTER? OH, THAT'S RIGHT, _HUMANS_! YOU'RE THE ANIMAL!"

"IF YOU HATE HUMANS SO MUCH, WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ARTEMIS?" Minerva attempts to hurt Holly. Attempts is the key word. She swings a fist upward, aiming for Holly's nose, but has little fighting experience, and the elf merely ducks out of the way. Minerva lifts a leg though and knees Holly in the stomach.

Holly winces, but she has magic on her side. Minerva contents herself with more words.

"HOW COULD ARTEMIS POSSIBLY WANT TO DATE YOU?" she screams shrilly. Her voice is on the verge of breaking, but she won't let down. "YOU'RE A VICIOUS, VIOLENT, UNPREDICTABLE CREATURE WHO IS LESS THAN THREE FEET TALL!"

"OH, I'M VICIOUS, VIOLENT, AND UNPREDICTABLE HUH? WHY WOULD ARTEMIS EVER WANT TO DATE SUCH A HORRID LITTLE CREATURE LIKE YOU?" Holly shrieks back, the sheer intensity of which causes her own tones to lift an octave or two.

"OLD LADY!"

"STUPID CHILD!"

"BITCH!"

"WHORE!"

"SLUT!"

"D'ARVITTING CONCUBINE!"

"I'M TIRED OF SHOUTING IN CAPITAL LETTERS!"

"BLAME THE AUTHORESS, INSOLENT HOOKER!"

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?" This time, Minerva succeeds and punches Holly, probably breaking the poor elf's nose. Speaking of the poor elf, Holly couldn't even stop the bleeding as she had used up all of her magic.

Holly glances at her Neutrino, tucked in her belt holster even though she wasn't registered to bring it aboveground on a petty little visit. She'd love to stun the little brat, love to do something even more perhaps after all she'd caused, but she'd get carted off to trials and prison no doubt if she tried. Then again, what could _they_ do?

"YOU HEARD ME!"

Suddenly, the two hear the front door open. Both automatically look towards there.

It was Artemis, in one of his custom suits. But he wasn't alone. Both human and elf girls notice Juliet is next to him, holding his hand. Artemis's hair looks more messed up than usual and Juliet is fervently wiping smeared lipstick from her mouth with the hand that isn't holding Artemis's. Both of them are smirking.

Holly and Minerva's jaws both dropped at the sight.

"Wha…what?" they say simultaneously to the couple.

Artemis seems to notice them at this time. He frowns, "Holly? Minerva? May I ask you both why you are bleeding onto my carpet?"

"Huh…but…" Something seems to snap in the two. "Why is _she_ there?"

Artemis glances at Juliet, who squeezes his hand and smiles. "Go on, Arty."

Artemis smiles himself. "Juliet and I have been going out for the past three months. Why are you two here?"

Holly gasps, Minerva faints, slumping under Holly's body. Holly's brow suddenly creases like thunder and she gets to her feet, her nose still bleeding. "YOU LITTLE BITCH!" she screams at Minerva's unaware form, startling Artemis and Juliet. She takes her Neutrino out of her holster, upping the setting level to 'fatal'.

Holly points the gun at Minerva's unconscious figure and squeezes the trigger. A high-energy burst is directed right into Minerva's chest, effectively stopping her heart. She never even feels the pain (by the way, does anyone want me to make a fic where she suffers a lot of torture before dying? Tell me) and the Neutrino's blast is tantamount to the effects of a heart attack. No need for messy bloodspill.

Holly smiles wickedly. "Dear god," she hears Juliet breathe, before Artemis and her both faint on the threshold at the same time, collapsing hand in hand. Holly pockets her Neutrino as Butler comes rushing down the two flights of stairs.

He stops and stares at the three unconscious bodies, two living and one dead. "What did I miss?"

Holly steps over Artemis' and Juliet's bodies to outside of Fowl Manor. "Nothing, dear Butler. It was nice seeing you again, old friend," she says hollowly, shielding.

Butler stares at the bodies for a second longer, then shrugs. He comes to the door, stepping around Artemis and Juliet to wave a cheery goodbye.

"See ya next time!"

**End**

Wahahahahaha! Insanity! OOCness! It's not often I get to show off my craziness.

Now review?


	5. Torture

Disclaimer: Don't own, so don't bother.

Hello. I felt like killing Minerva again since so many of you wanted a fic where she suffered. How bout you?

Please read this one. I spent a hell of a lot of time working on it, no matter how drabbly it is in the beginning and how short it is. And don't yell at me for run-ons, it sounded so retarded when I tried short and choppy.

**Number Five**

_AIDEZ-MOI À M'AIDER À M'AIDER_

Minerva for once did not comprehend the scene she seemed to unwittingly be a part of. The question was simple, what was happening? She could tell she was in a room of some sort. A large room, with undefined dimensions. It made her aware of the ominous feelings that hung about the air, ready to choke and throttle her. She was paralyzed, beyond being numbed, as if her very limbs were cut off without pressure, but she couldn't see her body to check and reassure herself.

It was dark, overwhelmingly so. There were what looked like a few candles lit…around. She assumed they were candles because she couldn't see them, only a dull, confined orange glow pinpricking the dark as if hesitating. _What happened? How did I get here?_ A childish voice in her mind spoke these words, sounding unnaturally high-pitched and whiny. _Is that my voice?_

_Where am I? _

She didn't feel like herself, however overused and clichéd that statement was. Her very veins seemed to pulse and beat and keep rhythm, not in a painful way, but as to remind her that she was still there. Contradicting, complementing, controlling…

Minerva did not feel any pain, though some subconscious part of her knew she was far from okay. She did not feel panic either, which was most strange considering the circumstances. In fact, her whole mind felt numbed, suppressed, confining her genius. She couldn't remember what had happened and let the time seem to just stretch on and on while she sat on the ground, far from uncomfortable.

The thought, wriggling in her mind, suddenly burst free with a metaphorical flash of light. _DRUGGED._

—falling, falling—and it was only this thought that suddenly cushioned her.

Of course, it wouldn't make sense otherwise. She shouldn't be feeling like this. Something unnatural was in her system, echoing and circulating her blood with its slow-seeping sedative. Sense was farther than her though, perhaps it was a trick of the drug, but she could feel a thousand ghostly Minervas rushing inside of her._ Daddy! Look what I found! _Then there was another, wondering where dear Arty went, when he would come home. And another, _Zéro absolu. Il s'est tout arrêté_, more, more, more, and more…The voices were all her, no doubt, but all musical and moody, on a strange whim, coming and going at different paces.

Minerva lay still, still even if she _could_ move, still nonetheless. She did not sleep, but merely listened to the score of hollow pitches inside of her, contented. Like a choir of voices, all different but all same, memories and stray thoughts assaulted her in the sweetest way. The poison inside of her writhed and kept her at bay, moodless, kept her from wondering where she was and how to get out. In the end, it was the drug that killed her as much as the other.

-

He comes; with time he comes.

She lay on the floor, limbs folded by her side, discarded.

He sneers at the drugged, cracked girl before him.

She, aware finally of his presence, moves her eyes upward but not her body.

He smiles in the back of his mind, thinking of the demons she no doubt is listening to inside.

She quiets the voices to lip read what he is saying.

"_It seems I've waited forever, but you are here after all."_

She can't speak and she can't think, but she listens all the same.

"_Have you figured it out yet?"_

She mutely registers his sentence in her mind, saving it for a time it will make sense.

"_The poison did a great job on you."_

_Tell me or just take me_, she thinks somewhere subconsciously.

"_Et la beauté, la beauté gaspillée, elle chante dans son sommeil pour toujours."_

_Jonah_, she thinks, the last conscious thought.

-

The sword was like a living thing in the way it plunged deep into her insides.

Trained hands wielded the blade, appearing from metaphorical nowhere. The crystal blade was placed upon the flesh of her arm and was trailed down, down, teasing. Metal hugging skin, it marked the flesh with raw red, but was just a line without blood. The sword reached her wrist, poked at the blue veins, and continued downwards.

"_How do you like it?"_

Then came the strike. The blade was thrust upwards without warning, from middle of palm to elbow. Now there was a bleeding line. Bleeding crimson. Blood raced to accompany the laceration.

Minerva couldn't even yell out.

Her whole body lay immobile to the deepening poison, the only sign of pain from wide brown eyes. The voices were louder now. _Daddy! Daddy! Help me! Where are you? Where is he?_ They rose in a frantic crescendo, filling her to the brim.

The second slash was down her left leg, thigh to ankle. It tore at her, searing, prickling. Flesh was carved neatly in a straight line, and in a straight line the pain came without wait like lightning. It was unbearable now that she couldn't even open her mouth so as the pain was forced to seal inside of her, scathing all the more.

Another cut, when she had barely felt the crimson of the two before. From her shoulder, sliding diagonal past her breast, down to the edge of her stomach. The pain flared and the drug did nothing to suppress it. She couldn't even feel panic, couldn't even take her mind off the pain to want it to all end there. If for one second she had wished to die, it would have all ended without a doubt. But the throbbing, pulsing now in rhythm to her heartbeat, commanded her full attention to nothing else.

A flurry of cuts nicked her, almost playfully compared to the three others. Short flicks of the blade over her other leg and arm, each penetrating deeper than the inch-long marks of red would offer to the naked eye. There was nothing less than an expert wielding the metal.

Finally, the blade was cradled parallel to her cheek so she felt only the flat side. Her breathing was uneven and gasping with spots before her eyes in a crazed dance. Each inflation of the lungs made the sword ring steely cold at the texture and sickly warm with blood. Her blood.

The sword tip was turned back and forth, never causing any harm but taunting nonetheless, flat side to sharp side and back.

She looked up and he smiled maliciously before slicing into her cheek once, then dropping the blade onto the floor next to her with a dull _clang_. Her cheek stung with pain at the shallow wound and he disappeared.

The voices were louder now than anything else, anything at all. They were like an eerie sixth sense, abundant throughout her system and evading identification. Of course it was her voice, she knew it, but they were all different in the way they blended so neatly. Some voices sounded older, some younger, some shriller, some duller. They were all chanting, singing, the same thing.

_AIDEZ-MOI À M'AIDER À M'AIDER_

And eventually they faded as she faded, and by the time she was claimed by the wounds there was only one voice left, repeating the message over and over again as she drifted away, supported by song, supported by pain.

_Et pour toujours elle dort, et pour toujours elle dort…_

**End**


	6. Eaten

Disclaimer: Don't own.

I'm sorry for not updating quicker, I really am! But I've been preoccupied as it's my first year in NaNoWriMo and my novel's been taking up all of my writing time. But on the plus side (for me, that is), I FINISHED MY NOVEL! On November 26, 2006 at 7:21 P.M. Eastern Time. 51,995 words. Beautiful. I wrote this kinda in celebration when I was fresh from my success.

In this one Minerva gets eaten because, uh…vore fetishes are cool?! Dunno, just felt like it. It takes place before she meets Artemis, by the way. Sorry it's so short and mediocre, it's like my afterbelch from my novel. I just wanted to know that I'm still alive and updating this story.

**Number Six**

Gaspard frowned at his daughter disapprovingly. "A young lady such as yourself shouldn't be traveling the forest alone, especially at night."

The 'young lady' in question pursed her lips and mentally wondered how long it would take this idiot to realize that she was not any young lady. "Papa, be serious. I will be perfectly fine, let me assure you. When have I not been?"

A shake of the head, a flickered worry expressed in the eyes, "Minerva, chéri, I worry about you."

She sighed, lips fluttering. This would take a bit of persuasion, but then again, she was _only_ the best. "You need not, Papa." Her voice was high and innocent, laced with sugary sweetness. "It's only for an hour or so, and nighttime is the best time to pick up my special little experiment."

Gaspard Paradizo thought of snorting at this ridiculous idea, but then thought better of it. "That may very well be, Minerva, but it's dangerous out there, and you refuse to be escorted…"

"Of course I refuse. This is a solo project, and others would only slow me down. I will be home faster if I go alone. It is not so dangerous, Papa, I have been there during the day. There's nothing there that could harm me."

Her father sighed elaborately. "If you insist, chéri, there is nothing I can do to change your mind…"

Her eyes lit up in almost childish joy. "_Merci,_ papa, _merci_! I will be back soon, do not worry."

Minerva rushed out the door, hiding a smirk from her father. She always did win in the end…

-

It was dark in the woods, eerily so, in a way where one could never be absolutely sure there wasn't a horrible monster in the legends ready to spring out behind a bush. Nevertheless, Minerva was reasonably confident she could keep herself safe. She knew these woods inside and out from past explorations. It would be easy, she reasoned, to find and pick the 'moonflowers', she had dubbed, needed for her experiment. There was actually no name to the species, but this was of course because no one had discovered them yet. It would be her delight to discover and name the species first and present them to all those stubborn-faced scientists to prove herself. She'd be the first, she'd have the power. It all sparked something warm and fuzzy inside of her.

The only thing she had brought was a pair of gloves on her hands and a couple of containers and plastic bags to study the plants—they glowed in moonlight but were just normal-looking daisies during the day, it was really quite fascinating—and the soil around them. She'd seen them first the other day, finding them by accident, and had been intrigued on studying the curious flowers. All she needed was in her pockets already, and a small pouch around her waist.

Something growled behind her, but she didn't panic. It was probably just some raccoon or fox. Neither were dangerous enough to stop her on her quest. Besides, she'd explored this forest before and there were no bears or other dangerous animals out there.

Another low, throaty growl. She'd never heard it before, maybe it was a nocturnal animal? She was too far into the woods right now to head back, and maybe it _was_ just a fox…

Before she could blink, react, or remove herself from her stock-still stance, something jumped out at her from behind an oak. Minerva jumped, then cursed herself for acting so much on instinct. How she learned, instinct didn't get you anywhere, it was all dependent on your brain.

It was really too dark to see what, but by the shadow _it_ cast, the animal was roughly about three times the size of a bear. It didn't seem possible, but it was, and the animal towered over her. But something was wrong—surely bears didn't have six legs?

A savage growl again, and the thing stepped into moonlight. It was huge, with the aforementioned six legs—but this was no insect. It had a big head in proportion to its body, which was covered by stiff hairs. They only looked stiff though, and Minerva had no such urge to find out. It had a gigantic, ample-spaced mouth looking as if it could swallow her whole in just one bite, it was even dripping saliva like those pretend monsters in storybooks…the creature was really quite fearsome. Minerva took all this in in about a second.

For a moment, visions and fantasies of taming and discovering this obviously _new, mutated_ species appeared in her mind, but they were overridden by a primal instinct to _run_, and run _fast_.

Because _something_ in Minerva told her that this thing wasn't going to shake hands and be a guest to her.

For once, Minerva ignored her gigantic brain and fled from the beast, all thoughts of moonflowers and scientific awards gone. Cavemen-originating instincts filled her mind instead, looking for a place to hide, something to defend herself with.

It was running after her.

Oh, _no_.

Before long, she was panting. Minerva never was the kind to abandon her work in favor of physical exercise, and now she was paying the price, evidently. _Just…a few more seconds…and it'll get me…_

In a final, desperate attempt to save herself, she turned sharply to the left, all sense of direction gone. If she stopped to look around, maybe she would recognize this area of the woods and be able to find a way out. But really, would you think about stopping and looking around while being chased by a giant monstrosity on six legs?

_That thing chasing me shouldn't exist_, the technical part of Minerva's brain argued. Amazing how you can multitask in the most desperate of moments. _If this is some sort of prank—actually, that would be a good explanation for all this—than _someone_ is going to pay!_

Unfortunately for her, the monster catching her by bending down and grabbing her with its mouth was an all-too-real experience. It wasn't fooled by her attempt to confuse and escape. Something wet and slimy began to coat her clothes and outsides. With a sickening _pang_, she realized it was the creature's _saliva_…

She was transferred from the teeth of the creature to the tongue, which wrapped around her like an umbilical cord, but all too thick. The teeth of the creature weren't sharp at all, as if the food was meant to be swallowed whole. She fit all too perfectly in the monster's mouth, and the thing's lips closed ominously, blocking out all light.

She _could_ move, _could_ try to fight her way out, but there was a type of sedative in the saliva of the thing which held her. It battled her anxiety and nerves until she couldn't feel the need to get out anymore, and she just wanted to be swallowed and digested, to leave this world forever…

It was a strange feeling, not wanting to fight. It flooded her completely as she tried to find a comfortable position in the creature's mouth. Saliva lined the red walls, two rows of teeth sat below and above her cushion—the thing's tongue. It reeked, smelling noisome and vaguely like a sewer, like something out of a movie, but she didn't mind. It was peaceful here.

She was aware of a gooey, liquid noise and more saliva was coated on her as she was moved down, down, almost like a roller coaster drop…

_I'm being swallowed_, she thought, and giggled. The sedative was really taking effect now, and she didn't mind. There was air enough here for her to survive for a couple hours, the scientific part of her mind calculated. It seemed like a trivial thing, sliding down the monster's throat into its stomach.

The stomach stank even more, but Minerva was hardly aware of the stench. Something stung her bare skin mildly. Digestive acids. They lapped at her clothes, dissolving it at a snail's pace. It would take a long time for her to digest, if she could breathe oxygen for that long.

The thing was moving, she could feel it. She was jiggled along, feeling its movement somewhat cushioned by the walls of its stomach—it really _would_ be a great discovery, if only she could muster up the want to _discover_ it…

She felt her heart beating through the slowly disappearing threads of her embroidered, costly shirt, and wondered how long it would keep beating. Would it slow down by the minute as the sedative killed her, or would it stop immediately after she was finished being digested?

It was something she would never know. She blacked out then and all was lost, including her. Hope was extinguished in a sickening _hisssss_, but it then again, it never felt so significant a feeling anyway. Minerva was aware of herself leaving the world, and with her, the fears, doubts, they disintegrated too...

It was such a beautiful feeling, if anyone ever stopped to capsulize and bottle it. But then again, it wasn't like anyone cared enough. It wasn't like anyone would even know...

**End**


	7. Murder

Disclaimer: …silence…

Huh, I don't really like ArtemisHolly, but the pairing is a good excuse for a oneshot. This is AU, post TLC, but let's pretend Arty and Minerva haven't grown and the world is still as it is. Picture this as after the three (Holly too) get all chummy together.

**AND A WARNING:** This chapter is very…perverted, and disturbing. Seriously, this is where the T rating really shines through. Take my word: If you're disturbed by torture and minor hints of femmeslash, DON'T READ. I know this will only serve as a trigger to spur some of you on to read anyways, but I'm being serious. Otherwise, if you say you're offended and you decide to review me, please don't say something along the lines of, "Uh…um…yeeeaaahhh, it _was_ kindasortareally perverted…uh…dunno what else to say…" cause those kinds of reviews really annoy me.

I spent a long time on this, indulging to my desire, so it's kinda long. But still, I really got into it. Read. Enjoy if you're immune to such pervertedness.

Reader discretion advised.

**Number 7**

It was murder, and Holly knew it.

But really; she reasoned, look at the girl. Twelve years old, girl genius, the world honestly didn't need _another_ one of them. She was doing everyone a favor, really. It wasn't like the child's brain was going to be missed by anyone other than that ridiculous pony-buying father of hers. Oh no, he'd probably weep his little eyes out over his poor, poor, gifted daughter…the imagined sight brought a twinkle to her eye and a smile to her lips.

It was straightforward, determined, targeted _murder_, and damn, she _knew_ it.

What can you say…Holly had a little _grudge_ against Minerva Paradizo. A _tiny_, _little, miniscule _grudge…that was about to take a life.

And maybe when _she_ was gone, maybe then, maybe _he'd_ catch her eye. Really, she was only actually benefiting the world. It'd already gone through twelve years of torture…was more really wanted?

No. And that was all the fuel Holly needed.

That, and that little spark of jealousy roaming her mind, searching for a nerve to strike. She was so _smart_, she was so _pretty_, she was _everything_ a boy genius would want. Classy, rich, stylish, _intelligent_, oh and of course: b e a u t i f u l, which is always a plus for pubescent males.

_No_, she smiled, _she'll be gone soon enough. And the grand climacteric of my life will begin._

-

The smile she wore that day was stretched a little too tight, twitched revealingly at the sides, and really all it did was to make her lips feel like a cold sore was growing.

She didn't care. The gun was in her belt holster, lethalized and rogue—untraceable, and no one would know it was done. No one would know it was _her_, and even if they did find out, consequences were for the later. When her job was done.

And she was standing at the door of Minerva's demise. Literally.

_Fly in? Shield? _But it all seemed too sneaky and underhanded to kill Minerva by taking her by surprise. No, Holly wanted fear, and satisfaction stemming from it. She wanted to see the surprise, the denial, the anger, and the half-hearted attempts to save herself even when the child _knew_ she was gone. Holly wanted to see the pain, bare and unrestricted across Minerva's face, the hopelessness, all captured in the perfect way she would contort her pretty French features. It was something she'd always wanted to see, come to think of it. Something in her longed for raw, unconcealed pain.

No, she was better than that. She would get to _see_ it, see it all firsthand. _Get her alone_…

Besides, if anything went wrong, she could just use the mesmer…or something…

Raising a hand, asking herself whether she wanted to do this, Holly pressed a sticky, lightly sweating finger against the doorbell.

The door, wooden, painted yellow with a shiny finish, swung open. Holly jumped at the suddenness and wide berth of the door, and looked up. The guard, in turn, looked left and right like a cartoon character before casting his seven-foot-up gaze downwards. He jumped, cursed in French, and whipped out a walkie-talkie.

Oh, damn. She'd forgotten about the guards, and how they were so utterly _normal_ and _human_… Forcing herself to speak French, Holly mustered up something along the lines of, "Don't be alarmed!" and held her empty hands up. They were not to be empty for long, her lethalized Neutrino was tucked almost invisibly in her belt. The guard didn't have to know that.

The guard—she could barely make out an ID card saying 'Chuck' on it—was beginning to panic. He would have inevitably tackled Holly or held up a gun had one Minerva Paradizo not chosen to descend the stairs at the very same time.

Minerva's pretty mouth formed an 'o' for a fraction of a second before she ran the rest of the way to the door. Holly watched her smooth, perfectly tanned, divine legs as they pumped towards her. The contours of her body screamed in what they could do, what they could capture…

And of course, this was the very reason why Holly was here. Minerva tugged at the guard's sleeve and spoke rapidly in French to him. Her curls bounced energetically upon her shoulders, Holly could tell she was just finished with washing her hair and gelling it to perfection.

She only had to talk to the guard for a few seconds more before he grudgingly nodded and slinked away, but not before shooting Holly a hawk-eyed glance. Then the princess turned to the elf and smiled in that cordial way of hers, showing off pearly whites that boasted the absence of braces and cavities. "_Bonjour_, Captain. Come on in."

The smile, by now, was copied from Minerva's and fixated on Holly's face too. It lacked the perfection, the divine, elusive beauty of Minerva's but then again, after today, she'd be the _only_ one with that smile. "Thanks, Minerva."

Holly followed her victim into the house; the door mysteriously swung shut behind them. Minerva led Holly up the stairs and turned right before leading her into a room. It was Minerva's own, and Holly had never been in it before. She could easily do her job here; how ironic, but as everyone knows, "irony is for suckers."

"What a pleasant surprise," Minerva broke the silence awkwardly, taking off her glasses and cleaning them with the hem of her shirt. Without her glasses on, Minerva's eyes were squinty and small, something Holly had never noticed before. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

_Why can't you just ask, 'What the hell are you here for?'_ Holly wondered. _Always just so polite and d'arvitting _nice_, like nothing can upset the princess, eh?_ Out loud she said, "Oh, just wanted to stop by to visit. You know, I haven't been on the surface for a while. Have you been visiting Artemis?"

The mention of his name struck a spark in Minerva. Almost immediately, her face brightened and she launched into chatter.

"Yes, I have! Holly, you won't believe what a dear he is." She giggled pettishly, and something like a blush rose in her cheeks.

_Dear?!_ Holly thought. _What crazy human drug is the girl on? _Last time she checked in with the Mud Boy—that was nothing short of two weeks ago—he was as cynical and charmingly sarcastic as always. It was that that drew her to him; why would she want some breakable, romantic sap anyways?

"Really? Tell me," said Holly out loud, dryly.

Minerva launched into a full fangirl speech, punctuated with dreamy sighs and girlish giggles. Holly almost couldn't stand the cliché in front of her. On and on Minerva speculated about what his simple gestures meant, blushing and stuttering while Holly threw her hands about, pretending she was just as engaged in the girl's words.

"Holly? Can I tell you a secret?" Minerva smiled, suddenly shy.

"Go ahead, Mud Girl."

"…I think I love Artemis," whispered _la beauté._ "I think you've already suspected it."

It was something Holly always _knew_, never mind _suspected_, but she still reared back as if Minerva's words were daggers going after her heart. "Oh…really…"

"I don't know what to do," fretted the girl, regaining a more professional manner. "I mean, I am a genius at all matters scientific, but I've really got no experience with _love_."

"Really…do you…"

Minerva's pretty eyes met Holly's. "Holly, you've known Artemis longer than I have. Tell me…do you have any ideas on how I could…you know…ask him out?" she inquired clearly, hope penetrating, poisoning her question. The words seemed to repeat themselves in Holly's ear just for her, a ghost threatening to haunt her.

Before either of them knew it, Holly's hand had inconspicuously dove towards her Neutrino, loosening it from the holster and squeezing it tightly in her hand. Of course, this was all hidden with a cough as she moved the gun to behind her back. Maybe she wasn't normally too concerned with theatrics, but she could make an exception here. The Mud Girl deserved something extra. No less for something so special as _her_.

"Holly?"

A sickly sweet smile forced its way somewhere from Holly's stomach to her face, where it stretched her lips. Fake. Mimicked. Unreal. Borrowed. Stolen. It did just fine. "Yes?"

The twelve year old locked eyes with Holly again, and it was all the elf needed. She added several deep layers to her voice, knowing well how the human would react to them. Minerva would feel like Holly's words would stroke her gently, like the softest touch, a just-washed heavy blanket, nursing her to that slurred consciousness before one fell asleep. The state of mind where it seemed impossible to lie just because that voice, that tone, was so lovely. "Minerva," Holly cooed, "why don't you stand up right now?"

Sluggishly, the girl climbed to her feet. Hiding a smirk, Holly stood up as well, slowly advancing upon her. Minerva unconsciously took steps back as Holly backed her into a wall. Holly kept talking to ensure that the Mud Girl would still be caught, snagged on the loveliness of her words, though they spat venom.

"You love him, eh Minerva?" Her victim nodded. "You love him…who would have guessed. I'm being sarcastic, darling. But really, two girls can't love the same person without one of them," Holly licked her lips and drew out her gun, "—_breaking_."

Minerva was pressed against the wall, her body unaware of the looming danger before her. "Bend down, Minerva, so I can reach you." Minerva complied. Now was the time. Holly stopped the _mesmer_, her Neutrino pointed an inch before the girl's nose.

The reaction was not delayed a millisecond. The Mud Girl opened her eyes wide, waking up from her hypnotized state, and promptly gasped. Holly roughly pushed the barrel of her gun into Minerva's open mouth to shut her up, delighting at the opportunity.

Her eyes read panic. Holly's read satisfaction, and hunger, insanity lingering deep in her pupils. In the blink of an eye, Minerva reached out a hand from her side to wrench the gun from Holly's grasp on instinct, but the elf pressed the hard skin of the gun harder against her teeth to remind her she had the power here. Life or death. It was her choice…

Even Holly knew instantly that Minerva would have a backup trick up her sleeve, something of the sort. Probably a touch of a button and a million guards armed with trained elephants would drop from the ceiling. Probably. But it was a risk Holly was willing to take. Revenge was too sweet to resist, and removing Minerva or all her secret tricks would make things…boring. Foiling all her sweet little tricks, giving her false hope to snatch away in a moment, damning the girl genius before her was what Holly wanted.

The poor victim tried to straighten her aching legs so Holly wouldn't be able to reach her, but the elf had wisely pressed her legs against Minerva's with brute force as to prevent it.

The Mud Girl _must_ have known that her situation was hopeless. Still, Minerva wouldn't give in without an attempt to fight. Her hand crept stealthily towards her pocket, but not stealthily enough. Before she had a chance to stop her, Holly had used her free hand to grasp Minerva's. Smiling harshly, Holly dug her nails into the human's soft hand and felt the girl stiffen and wince. Hopefully she would pierce a vein or two as an added bonus. Pressing the gun further into Minerva's throat, she felt her gag and shudder.

"Surprised, Minerva, sweetheart?" growled Holly. Something like bloodlust shone in her eyes. "Are you surprised? Or did you on some level predict this since you were such a _genius_?

"I'm going to _torture_ you, little girl. Hopefully you won't die of those petty little wounds before I can shoot you."

Minerva's eyes darted around the room.

"There's nothing here to save you, darling. Nothing."

Then, Minerva lurched forward unexpectedly, throwing all her body weight onto Holly. The fairy, surprised, collapsed under the larger female's weight. Minerva landed on top of Holly on her bedroom rug and began clawing at her fiercely. _These humans and their stupid manicured nails_, Holly thought absentmindedly.

It was no easy task to push a growing teenager, easily topping five feet and a hundred pounds off of you, if you were a 2'11" fairy that barely made the scale. Holly lost her grip on her gun, the fall making her accidentally pull her Neutrino right out of Minerva's mouth. However, now as she flailed on the floor, she pointed the trigger somewhere around Minerva's person and squeezed off a couple of laser bursts.

A sharp cry of pain told her that at least one of the bursts had found home. Holly pushed the girl off of her and stood up, placing a firm foot on Minerva's stomach, making her gasp for breath and then choke. With amusement, she eyed a couple areas on Minerva's body that were scorched a painful red color. "I must not have put the Neutrino on a high enough setting," Holly mumbled, casting an eye where the princess's regal, expensive clothes were torn and blackened. Otherwise, the damage was easy to shake off.

Her mouth a grim, merciless slash, Holly slowly lowered herself onto her knees, making sure Minerva still couldn't move. She stroked the girl's blonde hair in a mimic of caring, before sharply yanking the curls. Minerva gasped, tears filling her eyes, and Holly giggled.

She tugged on Minerva's curls for a while longer, enjoying each fresh shudder as her victim tried to conceal them. The lust in Holly's eyes was almost romantic as she toyed with Minerva. Trailing a nut-brown finger down the white girl's chest, she grabbed and squeezed. Minerva's eyes nearly popped, but her arms lay obediently at her sides, afraid of what would happen if she dared to move them. "Electric," Holly murmured, eyes sparkling.

The barrel of her Neutrino was placed perhaps three inches to the right of Minerva's belly button. Holly had lifted Minerva's blouse to an inch below her breast so she could put the metal against pure skin.

Grunting, Holly moved her thumb slightly to readjust the Neutrino setting even lower. She jammed the gun harder against the girl's rib cage and pulled the trigger for a steady laser burst. The heat would start off low, and slowly, agonizingly rise higher and higher—she had to be careful, or she'd blow a clean hole through Minerva's abdomen. She just wanted enough to make that girl scream with pain…and herself in pleasure. _Oh, if the LEP could see me now_, she thought ironically.

A shrill noise gurgled from Minerva's mouth. With dismay, Holly realized that if she _did_ scream, someone would surely hear. Still, she figured, she could easily finish the girl by then, and make her own escape. The scream wasn't quite out yet, so Holly clamped a hand over Minerva's mouth. Then the beast bit her!

Holly cried out herself in shock. Then her features hardened and she pulled the gun away from Minerva's now-bleeding, violent red-colored stomach and pressed it to the girl's head. Someone was coming up the stairs. Minerva was panting rapidly, sweating in fear and anticipation, her eyes directed to her far, far left at the gun pressed to her head.

Even though time was against her, Holly still leaned down for some final words to the damned girl. "_Au revoir_, honey," she mocked, and pulled the trigger.

Minerva's eyes flew open in shock at the pressure, pain both inside and outside her head. Blood began to bubble from the wound, and Holly watched carefully, waiting—

—and her eyes froze in that simple, dead stare the elf beside her had longed for.

Smiling, Holly lifted herself and just as two bodyguards squeezed through the door, broke the bedroom window and promptly rushed out, activating her wings. A second of stunned silence was all she needed, and by the time the shots were echoing out the window, she was gone.

**End**

Oh yeah, and Merry Chistmahanakwanzica, people. Seems like a weird thing to say after me writing all that.


	8. Death by Artemis

I'm not dead, everyone, shocker! Just taking a long break from this fic collection, but for right now I've got another oneshot. It's shorter than usual but hopefully not too crappy.

**Number Eight**

Theoretically, love amounted to weakness.

Yes, a theory, and it was one he could never let to be proved. Because weakness will undoubtedly be exploited and exposed, but he can stop that from happening. He can eliminate the source of the weakness.

Perhaps Aphrodite would not approve, but pleasing the gods had never been first on his list. Others would understand if they knew, but nobody had to know.

"I don't know about this, Artemis. Have you thought about it?"

It was a ridiculous question. Of course he'd thought about it, he thought about everything. "Let me assure you, I have given the situation a great deal of thought already, Butler. Furthermore, I have explained the ordeal to you. But all you need to do in this is shoot." Once. He'd explained it to Butler once. One too many times, maybe. "I could blame it on my hormones and wait for this phase of my life to pass, but that would be dreadfully inconvenient and not guaranteed to work. The sooner you do your job, the better. I did not plan anything too elaborate, just a simple, clear-cut killing. It will be nearly painless—that is my last honor to Minerva."

Butler ground frustrated teeth. Maybe it was the three years when he was gone—the cordial conversations over tea, the quiet recommendations at the library shared between the two, Artemis figured, that made his bodyguard reluctant.

"And what? Will we go to her funeral too?"

"We will be out of the area by then, Butler. Remember? The scandal I have planned in the states. Anyway, this is one straightforward killing, and then we are moving on."

"You will write her off just like that?"

"I must. You know what I said." He didn't quite fidget, but he began to tap his fingers in his lap. "Tomorrow, then."

"Tomorrow…"

-

Artemis didn't care for noble showdowns or final words. In the end, it didn't matter too much how it was done, but that it was done after all. If he had a little more room and time to flex, he would have. But being sneaky would suffice for this job.

They hid behind a flowering pink bush—it was almost humorous. The air carried hints of spring everywhere it blew. Butler cradled the pistol in his large hands, eyes fixed on the door of the mansion a mere few steps from them. The phone call had been made to draw the victim out, out alone.

The doorknob was turning, a slow revolution of brass like a full moon. She stepped out unaccompanied.

Minerva seemed to dawdle on the doorstep forever. She stood in profile from where Artemis and Butler were, head raised and eyes trained before her as if taking in the new light of day. She was tall now at fifteen, but only an extension of where she had been at twelve. Her curls had been trimmed slightly and she now wore contact lenses instead of glasses that made her eyes sparkle madly as if infected by disease.

The blue sky looked to hold wonders for her as she absentmindedly closed the door. The sun did not seem to blind her, and her eyes were fixed on the clouds and heavens. She wore a simple white blouse and laced cotton skirt, also white. It rubbed against her slender calves and she touched her legs together and then moved them apart.

Artemis stared at her shamelessly from his hidden place. Her chest, now developed in proportion to the years, rose and fell slowly; her heart beat under pale skin. She breathed, she lived. A gentle wind lifted and stirred her curls. It was more a question of whether he was _allowed_ to be doing this, really.

"Give me the gun."

Butler shot him a look and whispered back, "Artemis, we agreed."

"No. Not anymore. Give me the gun."

Reluctantly, the cold metal was pressed into his hands. Minerva descended the concrete steps from her mansion and began to walk towards them, staring at the sky. Artemis cocked the gun and braced his fingers from trembling.

Her black heels clicked on the ground, louder and louder like the snapping of chains. She drew in front of the bush.

He fired once. For a moment the soundtrack of birds and wind was obliterated at the crack. The bullet flew to her leg, aimed at a pulsing blue vein. It connected; she screamed; she fell.

Artemis was leaning over her in a second. The sun silhouetted him at an angle, giving him a half-aura. Her knee was soaked in blood, the smell of which attacked his senses and made his temples flare. He fired twice more at her heart this time, then once at that pretty face to distort it so he wouldn't stare.

Just once, he leaned down and placed his palms in her blood, directly over her heart. It was warm but unwelcome, and it escaped from him when he made a fist. He stood up again.

"That will do it," Butler said, voice thick but barely audible over Minerva's screaming. Artemis stomped the blood off his loafers onto the sidewalk, then Butler scooped him up and ran away as the front door opened.

His charge fingered the gun and then looked at the stains of red on his pale hands as he was thrust into the getaway car. It smelled like copper, but had a sweet tinge somewhere in it. It painted his fingers where it was slowly drying, undisturbed. Minerva's blood.

He would let it stay.

**End**


End file.
